Late-night mompreneurs: Why is sleep often the first thing to go when your to-do list is a mile long?

I’m up late again, trying to finally get something checked off my to-do list. An hour ago–at midnight–I wasn’t the only one awake, but now I am. It’s almost 1 am.

It’s going to be–no, it’s already–a late night, and a part of me hates that, but another part thrives on it. Truthfully, it’s one of the only times of day that I get to really “feel” my own energy. The orange cat who was sleeping next to me has headed off to the mudroom and I’m looking around at the leftover messes from the day. A dinosaur here, a half-built LEGO car there. Proof that there’s a young, dinosaur-obsessed seven-year-old living under this roof.

So what does it mean to be a late-night entrepreneur? I remember talking to my friend Melissa Gordon about this six or seven years ago, when my son Laszlo was less than a year old. We both agreed that there has to be a better way, yet neither of us has really found it. I want it both ways: I want my son raised by me (not at daycare) and I want to work. I want to be present for him when he’s with me (okay, I’m not 100% there yet, but I endeavor to be more present each day) and I want to be present for work when I’m working.

I remember talking to another young mom about 5 years ago. She asked me “When do you get work done?” in a tone of voice that told me she was really convinced some mother out there had found this holy grail, and if she only asked enough of them, she’d surely find an answer. “Well, I work when Laszlo sleeps. Well, sort of.” I went on to explain that usually when he’s sleeping I’m catching up on everything I’ve been wanting to do–the keywords there being “I” and “wanting.” I don’t always work when he’s sleeping, because what I really want is time to myself. Sometimes I take it and feel selfish. Sometimes I don’t and then rebel later. What do I really want? I really want to just have some FUN.

The cat’s back from the mudroom, stretching out on the floor. It’s been nearly an hour since I’ve done anything productive. The truth is, at this point the only reason I’m awake is because, well, I’m awake. It’s a momentum thing. I’ll go to bed in a few minutes and lie there and wait for sleep to come, while thinking of marketing and networking and life’s purpose–everything except sleeping. And then, after far too few hours have passed, the alarm will start going off, and I’ll start snooze-abusin’ for sure. But hey, it was a productive night, and for now, that’s all that matters.

But as for tomorrow, what’s on the agenda?

FUN. (If I can keep my eyes open.)